Light on the Sacred, Heavy on the Profane
Friday, November 05, 2004

What's a "Yout?"

The much ballyhooed youth vote was a fantasy created by people who never saw this election as a decision about the direction of American foriegn policy. They saw it as a chance to relive their childhoods. Thank God the youth vote never materialized.

Seeing as there are still plenty of:
1) Aging baby boomers that want to relive their childhoods and hang with the Panthers
2) Moronic Gen-Xers that want to live their childhood in the 60's, despite the fact that it's 2004 and they're frickin' 30 and adults by any stretch of the imagination
3) Lily-white Dean/Kerry volunteers in their 20's aching for some street cred
4) Music moguls that have T-shirts to sell

I think we should come up with a new name for Poof Daddy's Vote or Die voter registration campaign. Clearly he needs to come up with a more dire threat than death. Something that will really make those 18-25 year olds shake in their boots.

My ideas are:
1) Vote or I'll do another bad remake of a Police tune that wasn't so good to begin with and call it a remix.
2) Vote or I'll defile another fine Puerto Rican actress and pay for the plastic surgery that shrinks her beautiful ass and turns her into an average white girl.
3) Vote or I'll run another New York Marathon and again finish behind every other man in my age group, even the ones on crutches.

If you've got an idea, leave it in the comments section.